Sometimes in couples’ lives, s3x is spontaneous, such that there would be no time to prepare or plan ahead. It just happens while at other times, they plan for it, look forward to it, relish the thought of it happening, and it happens anyway.
But, behind the fantasies people build around s3x, findings have shown that both men and women have some fears about their performance in bed. These could even make them nervous, but these are fears they often don’t want to share with anyone, not even their partner.
Though, men may sound promising and appear fearless when it comes to s3x, right behind that bravery, experts say there could be fears lurking behind. Listed below are some of them and how to deal with them:
1) Fear of premature ejaculation:
Longer s3xual intercourse does not only help men to enjoy s3x the more, it also boosts their ego. This means the longer they go, the stronger their confidence. Thus, according to experts, and a post on Times of India, the fear of ejaculating so quickly is one main factor that unsettles them during sexual performance. From a study conducted by two scientists, Eric Corty and Jenay Guardiani, of Pennsylvania State University in the United States, satisfactory sexual intercourse for men should be between seven and 13 minutes. Thus, if a man ejaculates before seven minutes, it could be deemed premature and such could erode his confidence. Notably, premature ejaculation has been linked to anxiety, stress, guilt, depression, hormonal problems, injury and side effect of certain drugs. And given the huge impact of this on couples’ sexual lives, there is a way out. Experts have advised that people experiencing this sexual dysfunction could take a break or get themselves distracted (in the mind) when they are about to reach that destination or men could employ the relaxation technique, in which case, the wife could caress his scrotum when she feels he’s about to ejaculate. These are independent of the option of rubbing medically recommended creams and gels on the pen!s to reduce the sensation of the pen!s and make them last longer.
2) Fear of not satisfying the woman:
This factor is akin to premature ejaculation, but quite different. Findings have shown that it is every man’s desire to satisfy his wife s3xually. But unlike women, men tend to reach orgasm faster, and once they ejaculate, they lose erection, become weak, lose interest and start feeling sleepy, at which time the woman may not have reached that destination, given that it takes them longer to get there. Therefore, some men tend to be taunted by the fact that they may not be able to ‘deliver’ for as long as is necessary, thus the fear being discussed sets in. But there is a way out. Experts have found that (some) women may not reach orgasm through penetrative s3x because the nerves that should drive them to reach orgasm are not really in the vagina where they can be stimulated during s3x, but in the clitoris. Thus, instead of entertaining fears, stimulation of the nipples and clitoris are easier ways to satisfy them.
3) Pen!s size: According to experts, this is another factor that erodes the confidence of men who find themselves in this situation. It leads to inferiority complex even among fellow men. And it is for this reason that some men resort to enlargement of their penis, so as to command respect and boost their confidence in the presence of their wives. However, studies have shown that the size of the penis may not matter if ‘it’ is for conception, but it is a great deal when ‘it’ is for pleasure. When it is big, it would be able to reach the nerve endings in the vaginal walls. But as a way out, experts equally advise that rather than engage in unhealthy practices to enlarge their organs, men with small pen!s should discuss their fears with their partners and pay attention to what they can do with what they have.